We all go through many chapters of our lives, not knowing what the next one will bring. My life has always been an adventure, and I am not sure each day what the next one will bring. I shared my story of Babs and how she changed my life in so many ways. Babs bravely crossed The Rainbow Bridge, on a full moon on the fall equinox, she went peacefully in our home surrounded by all she loved.

When Babs came into my life, my entire world changed, she was so full of love, so full of life and showed me how to look deep into my soul. She also showed me how expansive love and compassion coming from the heart can be. While her physical presence is gone, she truly is in every cell of my being. I have struggled, I struggled with the being her caregiver and the physical and emotional let down since her passing.

I am now trying to rebuild my life, in a way that honors mine, and hers in all the ways she taught me to do. I have not felt the greatest, in the moments after her passing, I felt relief at the same time loss. In the couple of months since she has left, as many of us who lose our loved ones, I have felt grief, sadness, anger, loss, and loneliness. It has been a great challeng that all of us are faced with many times in our lives with our loved ones.

In this process, I am learning who I am again, I am treating my body better, I am listening to spirit when it speaks. I am getting out in nature, I am connecting deeply with my grief, I am working on rebuilding myself. I am just trying to love myself.

Earlier this Spring, Babs was pretty adamant we needed to find another dog. I vaguely listened. I just was not ready, but I looked periodically at various rescue sights, etc... but nothing felt right. One rainy afternoon, as she and I were laying around, I came across one little dog that seemed like he was the one. I remember emailing and asking numerous questions, about this little 5-month-old puppy, and I spent a couple of weeks looking at pictures, but I still needed a sign. So, I woke up one morning and sent a message and asked the dog’s birthday..... she responded, there I sat, in a puddle of tears, it was the same as Babs’ and my birthday. I had received my sign.

Lester, he came to our home, and instantly fit right in. While he was young, he was beyond respectful of Babs, and he loved her dearly. He looked up to her with pure love and gently navigated around her during the last months of her life. Lester has brought so much joy into our home and around the farm.

A little over a month ago, we were asked if we would like a sheep that has some trouble with his feet, I thought Rosie would probably enjoy some company in the barn. We then welcomed Randy to the farm. In the past month, my life has become filled with joy, my heart is filled with love, and I have endless smiles to share. Lester and Randy have become BEST FRIENDS, days are filled with endless play, laughter, and love. The two of them have gotten me back into nature, let me cry when I need to cry and remind me every day the lessons Babs taught me about having a loving heart. I miss her every day, but as the days pass, and I am allowing myself to be sad when I need too, I feel her energy around me more and more. I am reconnecting with myself with the lessons she taught me and keeping my heart open to continue to love every moment.

This brings me to something she left for all of us. Lester and Randy share her Love and Joy for life in a way that I can not put into words, but pictures can say a thousand words. Lester, Randy, and I have started an Instagram account, we, I can share with you some simple joys in life, that so easily get covered up by the everyday stress in our lives. We can be found @flyinglester_romingrandy #spreadinglove #spreadingloveandjoy

I have learned it is okay to cry, it is okay to be broken, it is okay to take time to rebuild yourself and it is okay to take all the time you need. Please remember that we all have our own stresses, our own losses and it was told to me to bring us all together to remember at the end of the day, all we have is Love, Pure Love. Hope this finds each and every one of you, no matter where you are, in a place to open your hearts and love yourself and puts a little joy in your life.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole