cyclic healing

Who is Randy?

Randy came into the world in February 2019, in the frigid cold. It was so cold that his mother was unable to get him up and dried off quickly enough before frostbite had set in. Luckily, Randy’s farmers were able to get him inside and thought out his frozen body with a hairdryer and nursed him back to health. This took about three months. While Randy has some permanent damage to his hind legs, ears, and feet, he is a healthy, wooly lamb. 

October 2019, I was having a conversation with one of Randy’s farmers about getting Miss Rosie a companion animal. As I felt she gets a little depressed in the darker months. At this time I was told all about the little frostbitten lamb, who just did not quite fit in around there “working“ farm. I do not think of myself as a farmer, I think of myself as a caretaker of all creatures in a steward of my land. So, arrangements were made to bring this 9-month-old lamb to become part of our family.

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Randy was dropped off on a beautiful fall day, the air was crisp, the sky was blue and I had no idea how to care for a sheep, honestly I never even had been around sheep. He was timid during the first couple of days but wanted nothing to do with being in a barn or a pen or a companion for Miss Rosie. He was stuck to Mike and I like glue. Lester was beyond excited to have a mini-me to play with, and could not figure out why Randy could not come inside to play. 

In less than 48 hours we learned that Randy did not care about electric fences, he really wanted to eat anything but grass/hay, he loves to be fussed over, to have his chin scratched, and he let us know he was not your “ordinary sheep“. 

Fast forward, Randy has been in our lives for nine months, which in sheep parent terms “terms“ it feels like decades. The winter presented some Randy challenges, mostly convincing him he was not a house sheep, although his persistence was enough to figure out how to open the front door, the garage door...basically, any entry to the house was fair game. Calling the local hardware store asking for someone to fix your screen door, because your pet sheep just walked in, is just “normal“ these days

Spring presented an entirely new set of Randy “issues”. I have spent 14 years working on my flower gardens, they are truly a labor of love, for Randy they have been what he loves to eat! The first glimpses of the greens were tempting and tender, which he really enjoyed. The gardens that had open borders were Randy’s favorite spots to graze, the ENTIRE DAY. We spent hours trying to find the best “Randy proof” fencing, we had several failed attempts, as he would find the weakest spot and then, there he would be, grazing on daylilies and peonies. There are decorative fences, my yard-garb creations my dad made, pallets, old windows, and rocks all over the yard surrounding the gardens. While they look nice, there are a few plants Randy loves and there are extra layers of protection for them. Luckily, the vegetable garden has always been protected, from Miss Rosie as well as the neighborhood dear. Over the years I have enjoyed planting annuals and having a splash of color all over the yard, now those are simply hanging baskets as well as a couple of pots behind dog gates. Which are 100% effective if put in the exact right spot.

Randy just wants to be included in EVERY SINGLE  thing we do. He would hop in the truck and go if we let him, he never misses a walk, he is kind to every animal he meets, he watches the cats with amazement, he enjoys animal planet when he’s inside, he hangs out with the chickens, he greets the delivery people, he lets you know when it’s 6 PM (time to eat!), he loves kisses, he loves to be brushed, he loves Lester, he burps a lot, he nibbles everything, he enjoys a cool day and most of all he makes your soul happy. Randy, has bought brought an endless amount of joy to our home, we say, “No Randy” at least 20 times a day, and he will gladly nibble on your tire if you come and visit but no worries, he’s never given anyone a flat.

There has yet to be a dull moment around since we adopted Randy. Nor, has there been a reason to lock our doors before, but now we do, all because of a sheep name Randy. He’s the fluffiest, funniest creature, he thinks he’s skinny and knocks over our lawn furniture, and he sleeps on the dog bed beds. On a happy note, upon weeding my garden he will eat the entire pile of weeds which is great for me, a little less work. There are days that just Randy alone, can leave you feeling like you have been chasing 10 toddlers around all day, but in reality, it’s just been Randy touching everything. 

Randy has a very special relationship with Lester, their energy feeds off each other, and in their time together it is easy to hear each of them blaming the other for all things wrong. There is a “sheepish“ way Randy looks at Lester and calling him the “black sheep.” They are indeed a pair, and our lives will never be the same because of the two of them. We have enjoyed watching Randy’s personality flourish, we have enjoyed watching him try to be a “real sheep“, we have learned resiliency of plants and their ability to adapt to a short growing spring. We enjoy our family walks, and most of all we LOVE RANDY and all his little quirks, he fits in perfectly.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

Stepping Into the New Year

As I sit here strolling, well to be honest running through all off social media, seeing everyone’s new year themes and waiting to see where I am guided...I put the phone down and walk away, for this is not a path to healing.

Outside a dog and a sheep run about as I pick a path to venture through nature. They are at play, doing what makes their hearts and souls happy. They run because it feels good, they stop when they are tired, they eat when they are hungry and seek out each other when in need of companionship.They miss each other when separated, and are joyful when reunited. They give themselves the best of their day, and the best that they can to each other. It’s good to be a dog and a sheep.

I then realize that the answer has already been given in my inability to find one. All of this pushing forward right now is totally counter intuitive to me at this time. This is a time of “hibernation” reflection, and finding our path for this year. It is not something quickly put together in the week in between winter holidays and the first of January. It is done day by day, moment by moment.

Change is what we are seeking at this time of year. Being HONEST about what is working for our highest good and what is a temporary and what must be let go of... What are our obstacles? What do we have for tools? What can we learn? How much love and compassion can we give ourselves before and during these processes? For there will not be change if we cannot give ourselves love or compassion.

Right now in the middle of the holiday season many are focused on giving and not having enough to give, loved ones and ones who are not there, happy memories and horrific moments that defined us. We have managed to externalize and keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion.

What makes us think that we can make ourselves anew or at least the perfect plan to for the new year in this state? No, please do not do this to yourself.

Stop, and allow yourself time. Time to enjoy, time to explore what your needs are and time to approach things honestly with yourself. Remember, just like healing, time is cyclical, the months of the year, the phases of the moon, the revolving of the sun. This also means healing and needed changes happen in cycles too. There is no failure in needing additional cycles for healing, you just need more healing at a deeper level.

Let’s take this first step into the new year together. I’m right beside you as you tell yourself “I love you and I will work at a pace that my body can handle. I will work with my mind to speak lovingly to my self. I will find what brings my soul joy.”

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

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