Life is a journey that has amazing highs and lows upon its path. As we travel, each of us carry our strengths, wounds, and badges of courage. The stories that have been created from our experiences are filled with endless moments of heart filling joy, to the complete collapse of heartbreak. I do not usually share too much about myself, as my days are filled with my work of helping others, but lessons are learned and things are forever changing. Over the years I too have made choices that make me feel the emotions that run the gambit of the human experience. There is not one single experience that I have walked away from, and not learned something more of myself...this is one of those stories.
Six years ago, I was in the process of looking for a dog to adopt. I had recently lost my old guy and his companionship. I had been looking on and off at dogs, and one day out of the blue I found a little cocker spaniel that had just been turned into a rescue in the Georgia. I immediately knew, “she was the one”. I did not waste a single minute getting my information submitted for adoption.
After 3 long weeks of waiting the day arrived to pick up this little angel. The day of waiting was spent being a tourist in southern Maine. While wondering the Kennebunkport beach, where coincidentally enough Barbara “Babs” Bush was walking her dogs. I stopped to chat with her briefly and petted her dogs, it was oddly a pivotal point in the day.
Two hours later, I was waiting to meet the transport van to meet this little angel that needed a home. There she was scared and frightened. With my eyes full of tears, I scooped her up, took the pile of papers that was offered and headed off home to Downeast Maine. Little did I know of the changes that were about to take place in my life.
About the time I hit a toll booth I realized I didn’t have a single dollar in my car to pay the toll. I found .52 cents, so I figured that I will just have to tell them this is what I have. I was already crying when I pulled up to the window at the toll booth and the man said, “Have a great day, the car in front of you paid your $1 toll!” I never forgot that, and I could not pay it forward that day, but every time I have traveled through that toll booth, I always pay an extra $1 because of that day.
Upon arriving home, I was tired, with a tired little dog in my arms. I sorted through the pile of papers that I was given. What I discovered is that this little dog had a good life, been extremely loved and was just sad owner circumstances that led to her being surrendered. I was reading through 4 years of previous history when I came across her birthday... This little dog and I share the SAME birthday. My heart burst, tears ran down my face, my entire world changed in that moment, and the little dog that became known as Babs, and changed my entire outlook on life.
Babs and I have had many crazy adventures. She became my constant companion, my heart and my life was full. We walked, we hiked, kayaked, and played in the snow. She took care of me and I cared for her. As life goes, you never know what the future holds, and changes take place. Babs started slowing down, but you could still feel the love come from her. She greeted patients at my office, and spread her love and joy all around, she just makes your heart smile.
A few years ago Babs was diagnosed with an enlarged heart due to congestive heart failure. My heart was broken, but I knew that the dog that loves so much would have a huge heart, but this was devastating. I of course, looked at every possibility of “fixing” it, “treating” it. I tried to allow myself the ability to trust his as part of my life lessons.
Little did I know it would be one of the toughest, and most rewarding chapters in my life. I consulted many vets, natural vets, holistic vets, hours on the internet, chinese healers, the list was endless. After much research and really listening to my heart, I opted to treat Babs as holistically and as naturally as possible. Over the past year and a half, I have had little sleep, many hours of worrying, many nights crying, making poor health choices for myself, complete exhaustion at times, but to this day, Babs is still here, doing her thing. She is slow, she still is the presence of pure love.
So, why is this all so important? How did this little dog save my life? In the past two years, I have felt lost, lonely, and scared. I have had to dig deep in my well to get through some days, while still continuing my healing practice. What I have learned about my own heart, by taking such good care of hers? I learned that it is okay to be vulnerable and weak, it is okay to admit when I am sad, and it is okay to withdraw to spend time for healing myself.
A part of many journeys we take in life is getting lost, and I have from time to time. However, I get up every day and give Babs a snuggle and let her know how much she is loved. During this process I realized in caring for loved ones, it is easy to neglect ourselves and we can very easily feel empty, EMPTY AND LOST. It can be hard to let others fill our cup, realizing what is being offered to us, what is available to assist us, and having the courage to ask for it. This chapter of my life, while it’s been really tough, it has truly been the most fulfilling it because while taking care of Babs’ heart, I started caring for mine too. I don’t necessarily mean that I have everything totally worked out for myself, but I have started taking care of those emotions that are so easy to bury and ignore. My journey is moving forward again! Thank you Babs for allowing me to love you so deeply, so freely, thank you for loving me so genuinely, that I have remembered to love myself again. I did not realize I had gotten lost, but because of you and your amazing heart, I can truly love myself again. The day I rescued you, the moment I found out we shared the same birthday, you really rescued me.
During your journey, you will get lost, get scared and when this occurs remember to breathe. A lot of prayer a lot of blind faith can move mountains. In helping others along the way be open and listen to your heart, it is truly talking to you, it is giving you a view into your own heart and how to love yourself. In loving yourself, you will find your authentic self and unleash your true potential. It is in our hearts, not our minds, where divine energy resides. Heart energy expands and can be felt by those all around you when you allow yourself to experience self love.
