She Lived Her Best Life

Lived Her Best Life.

I still remember like it was yesterday, the day our friends asked if Mike and I would be Rosie’s Retirement home.  It was a little over 8 years ago, to the day, she came to live down on Back Bay. 

Rosie was bought at an auction, before she was a year old, no one really knows her story or her age, but from the day her first family brought her home, she became ‘The Princess’.  She was loved and cared for by a beautiful family, that had three little girls and Rosie was the center of their world.  Over the years Rosie gave birth to 4 calves, as well as an endless abundance of milk to many families.  As the girls grew older, farming was not a priority as the girls were leaving home, Rosie was aging and they were hopeful we would say yes.

Mike and I looked endlessly for the right barn, hours of thought went into how to make a suitable retirement home for the old girl.  We found the perfect barn (her castle) with the help of friends we were able to make our field suitable for a princess.  

The day finally arrived, Rosie was arriving, I was nervous.  A year before, I decided to get chickens, which Mike always said, ‘chickens are the gateway to livestock’!!  Well, here we are, just like that, we are farmers.  What could possibly go wrong??  I am pretty sure the neighbors all thought I was crazy (I am, just a little), we were going to have a pet cow.  

Rosie settled in quickly, she was approximately 10 at the time, she was full of life, she would run and frolic down through the field, rub up against all the sappy trees, eat all the green grass she could find.  Over the years she had a routine, every morning you would see her standing down in the field watching the sunrise.  Rosie was a presence, she was solid, she was pure magic.  It is easy looking back and realizing that she would always life live on her terms, which I will call complete stubbornness, (I personally understand, stubborn).  She was going to have it her way, ALL THE TIME.  She LOVED attention and our world revolved around her. 

She loved parties, she loved kids, she loved having everyone over to see her magical kingdom.   The Garden Club would come spend the day, they would paint watercolors of her in her barn, feed her romaine lettuce and kale, while surrounded by chickens, birds, butterflies, deer, she was the magic piece that made our property ‘heaven on earth’.  

Over the years Mike and Miss Rosie had a very special relationship, he adored her and the feeling was 100% mutual. He would clean her barn, she would throw around the wheel barrow, she would stand endlessly in his way, he would try to have conversations about why she needed to keep out of his way, but she never really listened, and he knew she would not.  Rosie had a way of ‘knowing’ who was coming down the driveway, and it never failed, the minute Mike was home, she was waiting at the gate for him. Every evening Mike would take her out 4 pink lady apples (her favorite) and he would brush her, there was nothing better than having her coat groomed by the man she loved. 

Rosie was known for only eating ‘approved’ hay, and I assure you, we traveled far to get the hay that she would eat.  I had brought home enough ‘unaccpetable’ bales of hay, that she would go a week without touching what was there, if anyone ever wondered if a cow can give a ‘stink-eye’, YES, YES they can. 

Having a #1100 pet also comes with a few complications.  While Rosie was mostly respectful of the fence, which was basically pretty ribbons that held her in, periodically I would have to turn the electric on, once she figured out there was green grass up the road, she would wander the neighborhood.  She loved visiting the neighbors, she loved nibbling their apple trees, sometimes I think she was looking for love, and sometimes she would just like to leave free fertilizer around.  A few mornings, I would get a random text that Rosie was sleeping on their lawn, or I would look out and someone was walking her home.  Usually, once a year I would get a call at work as Rosie was spotted on snap chat visiting the neighbors barn, and I would rush out of work leaving a patient on my table to get Rosie back home.  She was special, she was funny and she was going to always have it on her terms. One summer morning, when I went to say good morning, she had about 20 porcupine quills sticking right out of the top of her head!!!! ( A cowicorn!!)  I spent the day feeding her apples, and chasing her around with pliers, at the end of the day, I avoided an embarrassing call to the vet!! 

Rosie had a daily routine, in the summer she would lay in one spot down in the field, I always said, “that is her power spot, she's charging the earth”, over the years she had worn the spot bare.  She would meet the sunrise every morning, and her coat would glow orange the second the sun hit her.  She had the most beautiful brown eyes, and in the midst of fall, the black on her face was shaped as a beautiful heart, you could just feel her love by looking at her, it made you feel alive. We should all feel that alive. Although, a few of our trees, that she loved to landscape did not feel alive by the time she was done, we learned to love her attention to detail and tree trimming. She loved our family walks, she loved snacks, she would always amuse us and let Lester take her rope, she just accepted this was part of deal, you just feel how much she loved the two little ‘black sheep’. She was the energy that brought us all together, she was pure love. 

I noticed over the summer, she was starting to slow down, she was starting to look more ‘hippy’ and elderly.  In all honesty, there was always a part of me, that worried about her through the winter.  In the last couple of weeks, she knocked down the fence, roamed the neighborhood, pruned some trees, went for walks, ate plenty of apples, then she decided she was tired.  

In her last week, she hung out in her barn, surrounded by us, Lester and Randy did not leave her side.  As Rosie always made sure life was on her terms, she decided it was her time to go.  It was a very, very hard week, it made me question all the things in my life, reminded me life is short. I spent nights with her in the barn, in the brutal cold, discussing the meaning of life.  I sat with her, knowing she was in charge, I was just holding space for her, this time I will cherish for the rest of my life.  Rosie went to heaven on 12/01/2021, she went peacefully, she was never in distress, she spent her last day soaking up the sunshine with the boys laying right by her, heaven put on a beautiful display for her, as rainbows were glowing next to the sun, she was loved by all the divine.  I have cried many tears, happy tears. 

In reflecting on her life, it was such an honor to give her a place where she could live out her life.  She allowed me to be in her presence, know exactly what it feels like to experience unconditional love and know the gentleness of God’s creatures. She brought life to our home, she could make you smile with her goofy ways.  She was a complete diva, she was a princess.  She will forever hold a very special place in my heart, as I loved sharing her with the world, I love she touched so many lives, she was and always will be the anchor in my life to guide me back to the simple things. Sunshine, green grass, be present in each moment and share your love with the world. Rosie taught me, just to be me, shine no matter what. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the sunrise every single day.  She was joy, she was love, she was sunshine on a cloudy day. We laid her to rest, in her ‘power spot’, she will forever be remembered in our hearts, the love she shared will forever be a part of my soul.  Your physical presence will be forever missed, but your energy will live on. 

Thank you all for being part of our lives and loving Rosie, and sharing her love.  I promise you, she would love every single one of you. 

“You can’t skip chapters, that is not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every character. You won’t enjoy all of it.  Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don't want to read, you will have moments when you don't want the pages to end. But you have to keep going.  Stories keep the world revolving.  Live yours, don't miss out.” ~unknown 

“Let all that you do be done in love” 

 1 Corinthians 16:14

What the animals are saying…

We have welcomed the calendar years entrance into Spring. We all have different times and ways Spring announces it’s arrival where we live. Have you noticed all the shifts in nature that is coming with this season? Here, not only has the sap begun to move from the roots of trees to bring life to it’s branches and buds are beginning to appear, but animals have started to show themselves everywhere. Coming out from hiding or from the south. They are all here now, out in full force.

I was trying to think back to the time that this book, Animal-Speak, The Spiritual and Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small by Ted Andrews, came to me. The exact moment has not returned to my memory, most likely because it is not relevant, but what is important is that this book has traveled many miles with me. On many hikes, many island visits, may camping trips and I’ve slept with it right under my pillow for immediate reach when it’s needed. This book and information within keeps me connected to my soul and my spirit.

In many shamanic traditions they have a journey to find you spirit animal is a part of learning the way of the elders. For thousands of years we have lived in among many, many different animals on this planet. We have watched their patterns, their paths and have “listened” to what they have to tell us. They have messages about the weather, predators, and life patterns. Within the teachings of this book I have truly witnessed and learned many lessons about what animals are here telling me. Most importantly, what insights they have for me about myself.

Enjoy this book, embrace this book. If it speaks to you, allow yourself to find your spirit animal or animals. Seek the messages that are here for you, today and always.

Whatever the Weather

Yesterday it was sunny with a warm wind, today is rain that is going to turn into snow as the sun sets, we will wake with a light covering of snow tomorrow morning. The weather here in the northeast changes daily in the spring. It can mimic January to August, in the scope of a few hours, but we know it will never last too long.

We are not fooled by the warmth of the sun, for hours later we can be cover in snow. We know that the northerly wind can freeze water over night till about noon, but it cannot hold on forever. We know that change is what to expect, and even though we may dream warmer days with a warmer breeze before the little black flies hatch, we have to “be” here now.

Weather happens daily, sometimes hourly, some times it rains in the back yard and is sunny in the front (Rainbow Time!!!) But as I just stated, the only time that you can enjoy it is right now. Put on the appropriate gear to keep warm and dry and go enjoy that spring snow storm, go jump in that puddle, go enjoy the sunshine on your skin when that extra layer gets too hot. Go back inside and make tea and soups when the rain makes you cold.

Enjoy the little things that the weather brings to your senses. The warm woolly smell of a sweater, mud tugging on your boots and knowing your feet are dry, bare feet in a barely warm garden, wearing layers that keep you just right in the sun, laying on the ground with the smell of spring earth and last years grasses breaking down, being drowsy and just wanting a little nap. Running for the house in a spring rain shower, but not really upset that you are getting wet, or possibly because it’s absolutely freezing.

What on earth is she getting at you ask?

The moments of nature that you can experience are many and vast, these are just a few I experienced in one day this week. Each moment was fleeting, but they where all joyous, some of it blissful, some allowed for me to be a participant in creating spring in my garden. Other moments had me sheltering indoors, nourishing my body with foods and warmth. Not every moment was comfortable, but I am aware that I am blessed to be able to change my situation, here I could seek the shelter that I needed and then rejoin nature outdoors when the weather changed.

Change allows the discomfort to lead you to where you need to be, or comfort in a new setting, to find the joy, or what makes your soul content. Change is inevitable, it always is. Sometimes change is rapid and sometimes it is slow in coming, but it is coming. Nothing in nature is meant to stay stagnant. In the Spring, the changes in the weather are rapid, so is growth during this time. There changes are not limited to the weather and plant growth, it applies to us as well.

The changes of this spring’s awakening have not been comfortable, but if this were not so, changes that are so baldly needed would not be happening. Changes that give us opportunities to assist in our healing, finding comfort, rest, and growth. These changes are occurring for all of us. Our bodies are being asked to move and get out after the quiet state of winter, and then were thrown into energetically charged time of refection earlier this year. Now, now we get to move forward, just like the Earth in Spring.

How is your journey reflecting the season?

Are you accommodating changes or fighting them?

Have you stopped for a moment to see what possibilities change is trying to bring you too?

You do not have to know the answers to these questions, but maybe give yourself some time in nature, or while you’re sheltering from it to maybe sit with them, and see what opportunities are within the changes that are coming your way.

All My Best

Spring Growth

Watching nature bring back all of life’s colors and start the cycle of growth is a most magical thing to witness. The ground paints itself green one blade of grass at time, then you notice that the green is reaching out to the sun and growing closer to it. Buds on trees swell and start to crack open, letting you see their hints of whites, yellows and greens. Some hardy bulbs shoot forth their flowers even while snow still coats the ground. I think that they cheer on the other flowers who are more hesitant to peek out and see what is going on, letting them know that the time is near.

Here in the northeast, winter holds on a bit tighter, and we get a little impatient for the first spring greens to show. Sometimes, we need to create a little bit of spring life inside, to grow the tender seedlings, so they might have the amount of time that they need to grow and bear fruit in our gardens. We then need to tend them, giving them more soil and bigger containers to continue to grow while the weather outside is too cold, and windy for them to live.

As the temperatures rise and things get warmer, and the winds relent just a bit, we take our little plants outside for a few hours each day. To let them experience the wind and slowly allow the plants to become strong to be able to stand within it. To let them feel the sun, to be able to process it’s energy into the nutrients that it needs, allowing all the cells to slowly learn to work successfully, without getting burned. Then, we give them a break, bring them inside to rest and then start again the next day. After a week or so of this transition, they are able to stay outside and are ready to be planted (I am impatiently waiting for this time right now, but for us it could well be another month.)

Starting inside, giving nutrition, tending to needs, allowing things to build and learn to work properly, resting, being patient…

I didn’t start out to write a metaphor at all, I wanted to share my love of watching spring build life… I guess I did a bit of that too.

Maybe take some time to sit out in nature for a bit, just being in it and a part of it. See how you feel when you are touching the earth and taking in a bit of that energy from the sun and then, go back in and rest when you have need of it. There will be so much more to come when we are prepared and ready for it.

All My Best.

My First Sign Of Spring

I’ve been waiting for the first robin of spring.

I’ve seen the water running underneath its crust of ice, mosses starting to become a brighter green, seen the ground heave and have had the frost crunch and sink under my feet. Still, I’m waiting for that first robin of spring.

I find myself inquiring if anyone else has seen this elusive sight of spring? I have received a lot of no’s and not yet, but many recall maybe that they have heard a friend make mention of it.

I go for walks, start the yearly clean-up of the backyard, and greet the sun while listening to all of the song birds, waiting to hear the robin join in…not yet, I’m still waiting, where is that first robin of spring?

It’s been warm enough to hang out laundry - twice, baby chicks and ducklings should be here next week, and the seeds that my family have planted have all germinated inside, right next to our sunniest window. There is still not a robin insight.

So, today I’ve done the animal chores, checked the email situation, made breakfast, and started to think that it maybe nice enough again to hand out some laundry, oh no I didn’t start the machine…as I walk to the laundry room and glance out the window…oh my, yes!!! There he is! I look about the house to inform everyone that it has finally happened, the robins are returning! Spring is here! There’s one in the garden! However, no one is about at this moment, it’s mine alone, a meeting of Spring just for me. I walk outside, hoping that he is still there, and he is…all in his red-breasted glory, hopping about my dormant garden.

Right now all signs of Spring are to the contrary, snow starts to spit and there are even bits of hail coming down, but I find that my soul is taking solace in this moment. The robin hops and pecks about the bark mulch bordering my garden, gives a quick chirp and a nod, then he is off. I relax and sit in the quiet of this moment, wipe the snow that’s leaving wet, cold kisses on my cheeks and know that spring is on its way.

Maybe next time the robin will be here long enough to pose for a photo, until then I await his return.

What is your sign that Spring is finally here?

Sitting with Discomfort

The energy that we have received in this past month, is comparable to the winds that have started off this month of March. In this last month, I personally have received so many personal challenges, and they were indeed designed for me alone. There have been things I needed to slow down for, changes I needed to make to be able to move forward in my endeavors, and even some personal issues that I needed to come to terms with.

However, the energy that was there for me to work with, made it understood that under no certain circumstances could I proceed without doing the work. There was no way forward until I had completed what needed to be done. Things broke, posts wouldn’t go up, deadlines were not met and even getting sick for a short time. These lessons also came hard and fast, one right after the other, not allowing me to ignore them for very long.

I needed to stop and look at why things were not working, what things were broken and preventing me from moving forward, why would those blog posts just not go up without a hitch, what was actually being missed when I couldn’t meet a deadline or what things were not being done when I needed to rest and care for myself instead.

What actually needed to change, was the mindset I was in. We know that we cannot proceed as we always have if change is what we seek. However, sometimes we become stubborn and try to force needed changes and then remain who we always have been. This is not possible. New understandings change us little by little, there is always some loss for who we were and beliefs that we have held on to so dearly and for so long. This is okay, as a matter of fact, if you don’t feel their loss, there may be a chance you don’t actually let them go…and you will indeed receive the lesson again.

Sitting with these discomforts, and being in a place readying yourself to make changes are the lessons. The universe wants you to be successful, find that new path, new opportunities, new ideas, and new ways to create love and joy. Acknowledging pain and discomfort and making choices to not stay there will bring forth the new paths you will walk as spring arrives and we welcome the changes and renewal that it affords us.

Please keep up the hard work, it is doing you so much good and creating the love that is essential for life.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

Seek Out the Joy!

As January ends, winter has set in and the energy that surrounds us has slowed our paces considerably. Enough so we can take stock of where we are and where we would like to be going. As we have slowed we have been able to see our surroundings for what they are, and what place we have among them. To assess the tools that are at our disposal and what we have to assist ourselves in what we would like to manifest and create for ourselves.

Making plans to move forward through this year are becoming more clear as the days pass. just ask my little black sheep Randy, who has decided he is coming into the house for love and companionship, as well as going for rides in the truck to see what else is in our small part of the world (just like his “brother” Lester the Whoodle)…the universe seems to be clearing the way for the life he wants too…

What changes do you want to see in your surroundings, yourself, and your healing journey?

What tools do you have to assist in these changes?

Are you willing to do the work you need and let change happen as the universe sees fit? Or are you going to try to force things (and by the way, how’s that been going for you so far?)

These plans that we make for our hopes and dreams every year affect every aspect of our lives. Seeds are sown every spring, literally and figuratively and grow into fruition, or not depending on the tools and care that we implement. Do we accept that we need to put in the work to cultivate these outcomes? To learn, to work at things daily, and then take ownership and delight in the outcome of that daily work?

My little black sheep Randy, who despite having a foot that did not form in the normally learned how to walk, then run and then climb steps to get to a door. He didn’t stop there, he learned how to open a door with his mouth to join his best friend and brother Lester, for shenanigans in the house.

This sweet little lamb has a plan, to get inside and play (and is now attempting to also get in the truck for rides) and is willing to learn to get to where his little heart wants to be. He is opening doors to my heart, our home and possibilities for himself that I never imagined happing (okay to be honest, I may have imagined them, but not in the short span of a couple of months.)

Maybe that is a place that we can join him on his journey and start doing what we need to, to create the life we would like to have. To seek out and find our joy, make our hearts and souls happy.

Right now, at this time of year, is where we decide how we are going to move forward. Choosing our tools, creative being, and attitudes that will move us into spring.

I am sending you all love and hope you open your own doors to love, joy, happiness and compassion.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole and Randy too!

The Body Knows How to Heal Itself, Are You Listening?

These days, I am out in nature everyday. I watch, listen and meditate in outside everyday. I watch, walk and run about with my animals. Slower than the little dog who flies, maybe a little faster than (at times) the sheep who checks out what grasses are tasty along the way. This is where I am doing most of my healing these days. My heart these days, is very full, and I am very grateful!

In reading these words, you can assume this has not where I have always been. A couple of years ago I fell on the ice and hit my head. This resulted in a concussion and a lot of physical healing of my brain was needed. As as often times as it must be in this universe, this also went hand in hand with healing of my mind and soul as well.

Today, my brain is healed physically, however allowing this to become the priority, giving it time to heal was harder than I ever thought it would be. I had to slow down, I had to give it time, I had to rest. I had to give up things that gave me joy.

That winter when I first fell, I could not play tennis, my winter exercise and stress relief, no longer an option. I needed to work less hours, and I was exploring expanding my business, reaching more people to help and fulfill my calling. How was this going to work? Um, no I have employees and people that where counting on me. I cannot let all of these people down…obviously I was supposed to overcome it all, right?

So, i pushed on through. I nourished my body, however I may have glossed over the need to rest my mind and tend to my soul after this injury. Physically, I attempted to do everything as I always had (how else would I take care of my body, home and animals), mentally things where a struggle and tending to my soul happened in spurts when I found time and was able to focus, which sadly was not often. Things got done, I got tired, things grew, i got more tired, a year went by I did not change, I was exhausted…I was keeping myself healthy enough to do what needed to get done…right?

The next winter, I was out shoveling snow and fell, hit my head and…

People the universe is going to keep giving you the same lesson until you get it! No matter who you are. This time, it was more serious, and I did not have a option to “push through it.” This time self-care was not an option. Healing was not something I was going to be able to dictate the course of. My body needed rest, my mind needed rest, and my soul demanded rest.

I needed to give up all of the ways that I had always “managed” stress, my businesses and obligations. I have to say, that things really have gone differently than I have ever imagined they would. AND THIS IS OKAY! Patience, Trust, love and self-care have been the outcome of this lesson. These are now things that I make sure are part of my day. Some days it is easy to remember and incorporate, some days are a total fail. I’m still learning and walking my path. I am healing, and become more whole with everyday that passes. However, there is more appreciation, gratitude, and love to be found everywhere.

I know you may of your wish for quicker healing, healing of certain aspects before others or just want to push (force) through. Please, please, please be patient, trust you are on the right path, and give yourself the care and love you deserve.

So remember, you are right where you need to be, your body is working as hard as it can healing your physical self where your need it first. Your body knows where and how much energy to devote to healing itself in order of need for it to work to its’ highest good. It is important that you allow healing to go in the order that needs to. Trust your body to get it right. Let go of the thinking patterns that you know the route to heal successfully. Just envision yourself in the state of health that you want to be in and trust your body to get you there. Give your body the right foods and nourishment, have patience with yourself, slow down and give yourself the time you need to heal, and do things that truly give you joy, you will know what they are when you realize how grateful you are for them each day.

I hope your heart is full at the end of the day.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

Holiday Self-Care

Just a few little notes to self this week about keeping things real and for your highest good. This time of year, festive and happy are what comes to mind for many but unfortunately, that is not always realistic. Whether you are with family, friends or just find this time of year difficult to navigate:

1. Self-care comes first! Remember why you are on your healing journey, this will help in the decisions and reactions you make and have while with others.

2. Use past interactions with others as a reference for what you can expect with them this year.

3. Keep your expectations of others realistic. It is the season of goodness and light, but that does not always guarantee a happy, positive attitude with anyone. People are who they are.

4. Know your boundaries, be vocal about them, and keep them. If they are not respected you have the ability to remove yourself from the conversation and/or location.

5. If you find that you are in a place that is harmful or overwhelming to you, your healing, your mental state or are just in continuous discomfort, leave. Have a plan in place beforehand, then you will have this option at your disposal if needed. Pre-planning means you will not have to make decisions about “how” when you will most likely already be overwhelmed. You have the right to protect yourself.

6. Don’t go it alone. Plan to have friends on stand-by or even go with you.

Slow down. Really think through whether or not you want to go where you are invited. Sometimes it just has to do with your energy level. Saying no is okay (even if you’d like to go, remember self-care first!) No is a boundary. A necessary boundary. It is a boundary of self-care. There is a limit to what you allow yourself to give or others to freely take, without taxing or doing harm to yourself.

Lastly, you can always do your own thing! Make new traditions for celebrating during the holiday season. Or choose to do something different entirely.

Please take care of yourself this season, and may blessings be upon you.

Happy Solstice Everyone! Here’s to bringing in the light!

Dr. Nicole

Give the Gift of a Moment to Yourself

When was the last time you took a moment for yourself? When was the last time you stopped and listened to what your internal needs are?

Not, what am I going to put on, in and around myself. Not, selecting supplements, foods, exercising, or dressing for the day’s requirements.

A moment to say hello to yourself, to check in with yourself, to love yourself for your own sake, for your own soul.

This does not take a meditation practice, an enormous amount of time, or need the eloquence of the perfect mantra.

It just takes positive intention, honesty, and a moment. Just take a moment to be completely honest with yourself. It is harder than you think, so allow yourself to sit for a minute and ask what your true needs are at this time.

Just a hey, you’re important, you’re worthy, you’re loved.

Find a spot you feel you feel comfortable with yourself for 5-10, can be inside or outside, even right where you are when you remember, oh yes, time for me!

Take a few deep breaths and visualize your healthiest, most vibrant self and give yourself the love and joy of that moment. Repeat as needed. Repeat again as needed. Remember it only takes a moment to give yourself, a little self-love, reassurance and an internal high five!! High five is a good way to remind yourself, YOU ARE DOING THIS!!

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole