Sitting with the Unsettled

Have you ever been in a situation where something does not feel right? Something feels off, but you cannot put your finger on it? For myself, I have felt this many times over the years. Definitely more so in the last year. The energy doesn’t feel right, nothing feels like it has an easy flow. Instantly, I always look for outside forces, the moon, storms, cloudy day, the planets, the unsettled world, did I eat something bad, did Randy get in the bird seed…the list is end less. Honestly, I could spend hours analyzing the “outside reasons” for the unsettle that I am feeling, which can range from mild to extreme.

Somedays, the unsettled also seems to be a void of energy as if I am not able to put any energy into that void other than to let it be. Again, it is just something that you cannot quite grasp or make sense of, or even explain. It just has a presence.

I talk a lot about connecting with nature, because it gets my energy into the present moment, and being with my animals in the present moment is so grounding. Although it may not “settle” that energy, it gives it time to clear. Finding little rituals at this time is important. I keep a little space set up with a candle and a crystal or two. Whatever, I am called to do at the time. Lighting that candle and just asking the universe for some supportive energy is important, meditation or other rituals may not feel “easy” to connect with during this time, just something small is all that is needed to ask and start receiving the support that is needed.

Be forgiving of yourself, know that the unsettle may not be external, internal or even yours. It could be the energy around you at the time. Say a little prayer for yourself, for the space where you are, send some serious love to yourself and then out to the world, and you will find peace in the moment.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

Coming Back to Myself

Hello Everyone!

Sorry, for long absence of me writing to you here. I have started numerous blog posts, some with what I felt to be profound words, that turned into mush halfway through and then thoughts became so jumbled I could not get them down on paper... So, finally I awoke this morning with some clarity. Please, be patient as I once again transcribe thoughts and feelings in my head into writing.

Time has flown by, this last year seems like a blur. If I had a feelings chart, you know one of those that you put on your refrigerator to help identify what a person is going through at the moment, I would definitely have cycled through EVERY single emotion, EVERY day. While trying to navigate though the constant stream of emotions, I thought my physical day had not changed much, in retrospect it has indeed changed. Life has changed. Perhaps it was just denial or trying to remain calm, life has shifted into a new paradigm.

While talking with a now, new stay-at-home mom, who is trying to navigate “at home learning” while still maintaining her sanity, our conversation was interrupted by her child and she asked, “Why are you not on with your teacher? You need to be on the computer with your teacher...” Directions where given and our conversation continued. Not two minutes later this mom was asking, “Why are you in your Captain America costume? You need to get back on the computer with your teacher...” It was in this moment I realized we are all navigating life in our own special way.

While we are in challenging, frustrating and nerve wracking times, remember there is truly an immense amount of LOVE and UNDERSTANDING as every single one of us have our struggles with this new paradigm. Remember all of your feelings are valid, and need to be worked through. When you need to, take a moment to breathe, scream in a pillow, cry in your safe space, get outside or whatever you need to do in the movement. Feel it, acknowledge it and then let it go.

As many of you know I LOVE WINTER! So, regardless of the cold and snow, I get outside. I recommend this to everyone. Spending time in nature is the only thing that brings me back to myself, but I may invest in a Captain America costume to bring me that joy, or maybe dress up Randy.

All My Best,

Dr. Nicole

Whatever the Weather

Yesterday it was sunny with a warm wind, today is rain that is going to turn into snow as the sun sets, we will wake with a light covering of snow tomorrow morning. The weather here in the northeast changes daily in the spring. It can mimic January to August, in the scope of a few hours, but we know it will never last too long.

We are not fooled by the warmth of the sun, for hours later we can be cover in snow. We know that the northerly wind can freeze water over night till about noon, but it cannot hold on forever. We know that change is what to expect, and even though we may dream warmer days with a warmer breeze before the little black flies hatch, we have to “be” here now.

Weather happens daily, sometimes hourly, some times it rains in the back yard and is sunny in the front (Rainbow Time!!!) But as I just stated, the only time that you can enjoy it is right now. Put on the appropriate gear to keep warm and dry and go enjoy that spring snow storm, go jump in that puddle, go enjoy the sunshine on your skin when that extra layer gets too hot. Go back inside and make tea and soups when the rain makes you cold.

Enjoy the little things that the weather brings to your senses. The warm woolly smell of a sweater, mud tugging on your boots and knowing your feet are dry, bare feet in a barely warm garden, wearing layers that keep you just right in the sun, laying on the ground with the smell of spring earth and last years grasses breaking down, being drowsy and just wanting a little nap. Running for the house in a spring rain shower, but not really upset that you are getting wet, or possibly because it’s absolutely freezing.

What on earth is she getting at you ask?

The moments of nature that you can experience are many and vast, these are just a few I experienced in one day this week. Each moment was fleeting, but they where all joyous, some of it blissful, some allowed for me to be a participant in creating spring in my garden. Other moments had me sheltering indoors, nourishing my body with foods and warmth. Not every moment was comfortable, but I am aware that I am blessed to be able to change my situation, here I could seek the shelter that I needed and then rejoin nature outdoors when the weather changed.

Change allows the discomfort to lead you to where you need to be, or comfort in a new setting, to find the joy, or what makes your soul content. Change is inevitable, it always is. Sometimes change is rapid and sometimes it is slow in coming, but it is coming. Nothing in nature is meant to stay stagnant. In the Spring, the changes in the weather are rapid, so is growth during this time. There changes are not limited to the weather and plant growth, it applies to us as well.

The changes of this spring’s awakening have not been comfortable, but if this were not so, changes that are so baldly needed would not be happening. Changes that give us opportunities to assist in our healing, finding comfort, rest, and growth. These changes are occurring for all of us. Our bodies are being asked to move and get out after the quiet state of winter, and then were thrown into energetically charged time of refection earlier this year. Now, now we get to move forward, just like the Earth in Spring.

How is your journey reflecting the season?

Are you accommodating changes or fighting them?

Have you stopped for a moment to see what possibilities change is trying to bring you too?

You do not have to know the answers to these questions, but maybe give yourself some time in nature, or while you’re sheltering from it to maybe sit with them, and see what opportunities are within the changes that are coming your way.

All My Best

Spring Growth

Watching nature bring back all of life’s colors and start the cycle of growth is a most magical thing to witness. The ground paints itself green one blade of grass at time, then you notice that the green is reaching out to the sun and growing closer to it. Buds on trees swell and start to crack open, letting you see their hints of whites, yellows and greens. Some hardy bulbs shoot forth their flowers even while snow still coats the ground. I think that they cheer on the other flowers who are more hesitant to peek out and see what is going on, letting them know that the time is near.

Here in the northeast, winter holds on a bit tighter, and we get a little impatient for the first spring greens to show. Sometimes, we need to create a little bit of spring life inside, to grow the tender seedlings, so they might have the amount of time that they need to grow and bear fruit in our gardens. We then need to tend them, giving them more soil and bigger containers to continue to grow while the weather outside is too cold, and windy for them to live.

As the temperatures rise and things get warmer, and the winds relent just a bit, we take our little plants outside for a few hours each day. To let them experience the wind and slowly allow the plants to become strong to be able to stand within it. To let them feel the sun, to be able to process it’s energy into the nutrients that it needs, allowing all the cells to slowly learn to work successfully, without getting burned. Then, we give them a break, bring them inside to rest and then start again the next day. After a week or so of this transition, they are able to stay outside and are ready to be planted (I am impatiently waiting for this time right now, but for us it could well be another month.)

Starting inside, giving nutrition, tending to needs, allowing things to build and learn to work properly, resting, being patient…

I didn’t start out to write a metaphor at all, I wanted to share my love of watching spring build life… I guess I did a bit of that too.

Maybe take some time to sit out in nature for a bit, just being in it and a part of it. See how you feel when you are touching the earth and taking in a bit of that energy from the sun and then, go back in and rest when you have need of it. There will be so much more to come when we are prepared and ready for it.

All My Best.

My First Sign Of Spring

I’ve been waiting for the first robin of spring.

I’ve seen the water running underneath its crust of ice, mosses starting to become a brighter green, seen the ground heave and have had the frost crunch and sink under my feet. Still, I’m waiting for that first robin of spring.

I find myself inquiring if anyone else has seen this elusive sight of spring? I have received a lot of no’s and not yet, but many recall maybe that they have heard a friend make mention of it.

I go for walks, start the yearly clean-up of the backyard, and greet the sun while listening to all of the song birds, waiting to hear the robin join in…not yet, I’m still waiting, where is that first robin of spring?

It’s been warm enough to hang out laundry - twice, baby chicks and ducklings should be here next week, and the seeds that my family have planted have all germinated inside, right next to our sunniest window. There is still not a robin insight.

So, today I’ve done the animal chores, checked the email situation, made breakfast, and started to think that it maybe nice enough again to hand out some laundry, oh no I didn’t start the machine…as I walk to the laundry room and glance out the window…oh my, yes!!! There he is! I look about the house to inform everyone that it has finally happened, the robins are returning! Spring is here! There’s one in the garden! However, no one is about at this moment, it’s mine alone, a meeting of Spring just for me. I walk outside, hoping that he is still there, and he is…all in his red-breasted glory, hopping about my dormant garden.

Right now all signs of Spring are to the contrary, snow starts to spit and there are even bits of hail coming down, but I find that my soul is taking solace in this moment. The robin hops and pecks about the bark mulch bordering my garden, gives a quick chirp and a nod, then he is off. I relax and sit in the quiet of this moment, wipe the snow that’s leaving wet, cold kisses on my cheeks and know that spring is on its way.

Maybe next time the robin will be here long enough to pose for a photo, until then I await his return.

What is your sign that Spring is finally here?

Taking a Moment for Me

These past 2 weeks have been a challenging ones! I need to take a moment for myself, and let go some of the things that are on my plate. I just really needed to share that this happens to me too, as well as remind you to take time out for yourselves when things become overwhelming.

So, this week I’m sharing some of the moments that I have captured on camera. These remind me why I give to myself. So, I may enjoy the beauty that surrounds me, and remember that I am a part of it and share it with those I love.

Be Patient, Give and Accept Love, Experience the Beauty Where You Are…

…and maybe a little dream of spring…

A Bit of Spring’s Energy is Being Felt

Movement is beginning once again, the stillness of winter is beginning to wane and this year,  spring’s energy is coming in with a bang!

My morning routine is full of spilled water, tea and smoothies.  I have dropped nearly everything that I have tried picking up at least once. Lester Whoodle is running through the house with an entire roll of toilet paper, and Randy the Sheep has learned to open the door from the outside, however closing the door is not something he worries about.  A light bulb blows and my phone is dinging for attention.

Out of the corner of my eye is see the sun is rising, so I leave it all to witness the beauty and of course take a picture too.

Do you see chaos or lessons? Both?

Well, I acknowledge that there is chaos, but my response is what makes all of the difference.

Where does my attention go, what do I give my energy too? These answers are choices, ones that make my day happy-go-lucky or go horribly wrong. It has everything to do with ME. I choose to focus on the beauty of nature, the love of my animals and trust myself to get everything back into place in my own time.  And I am okay with that. I don’t always make the best choice, so consequences and lessons insue then as well. Somedays there is just too much chaos for me to handle. Sometimes it goes badly, and I need to regroup and then trust myself again to get everything back into place, in my own time. And I am okay with that too!

We are at that time of year when the stillness of winter is beginning to shift into the energy of spring. New growth on every level brings in so much energy to push things moving in a forward direction, that it does not always look “pretty.”  The new pushing the old out, clearing the way for new life, new directions, new healing, and such. So, soon our bodies, physical surroundings, mental space, and spiritual needs are going to shift, “cleaning house” so to speak.

So, as spring nears and your body is clearing and purging what needs to be released... When you have the need to clean your home at 1 am and rearrange every room you have...

When you find yourself needing to be making life choices and are dealing with hard change and hard work... When you are asking God and all of the Angels for support… How are you going to respond to this change?  Are you going to take these opportunities for release and change to move forward with your life and healing? Or are you going to view them as “your latest setback”? It truly is up to you!

As you catch yourself in the chaos, take a moment to breathe, remember that choice is always yours to keep moving forward and find yourself embracing the chaos, and just smile. It’s all part of the journey.

All My Best

Dr. Nicole